Chapter 3 Reunited!

THE DAY MY SON AND I REUNITED

The Most Joyous Day of My Life!

       

I will never forget the day I first saw a picture of my adult son! He had black hair like his father and my father, a widow’s peak like my father (his grandfather!) and my facial features when I was his age! He was so handsome! My son’s letter responded to my letter which I sent to the Social Worker who searched for him.

It was wonderful to see my son’s handwriting! In the first few lines of his letter, my son Bob wrote that he could imagine it must have been a difficult time for me at age 17, and that he probably would have made the same decision as I did. That was such a relief to read! I was blessed that my son was empathetic and understanding. He also wrote that he was very thankful I didn’t choose abortion. I was certainly very thankful about that too! I believe that every soul has a right to be born, and that they have their own, individual purpose in the world. I was very glad to read that he had the best parents he could have had. However, neither were alive presently. I realized that at age 33, he had sustained a lot of loss.

I sent copies of Bob’s picture to my sisters and nieces, and they all said they felt like they had known him forever. In a way, they did! My son and I sent letters and pictures back and forth. I treasured each letter and each photo of my son. I had his pictures right beside where I usually sit on the sofa.

Since my son hadn’t known he was adopted, our Social Worker told him that we could write and send photos now, but my son was to set the pace and decide if and when we would reunite. I enjoyed reading my son’s letters so much and seeing the pictures he sent me.

One day I received a letter from my son telling me he would be visiting friends in a nearby town the weekend of November 6th through 8th, and he wondered if he could stop to see me and Tim! Could he? Of course he could! I was beyond excited about the prospect of seeing my adult son face to face!

Bob arrived at 5:30 pm on November 6th, 1998. He had driven a long distance to see and reunite with me. It was so amazing to see him! We hugged and I tried to see resemblances. He was taller than his father but had his eyebrows, hair and build. He was so pleasant and friendly as well. I was very nervous at first, but once we sat together on the love seat, it just seemed right. Tim enjoyed meeting Bob and had a lot of questions for him. But when he started telling my stories, I finally broke in and told them myself. I gave Bob a folder that had a genogram of his biological family. Also in the folder were labeled photos of his biological family members, and a telephone and address list for all of them. It was wonderful sitting next to him. He held my hand which felt so awesome. It felt to me like a high spiritual and emotional experience, and it appeared that we had a strong genetic bond.

My son brought with him two large picture albums. One had pictures of him from baby on up which I loved. As I was looking at them I looked up, and Bob was looking at me! He said his mother’s twin, Aunt Ann, had put the pictures in the album for him. The second album was filled with pictures of when he was older and it had pictures of his friends in it as well. Bob asked me if I would like to keep them for awhile, and I was so happy to be able to do that. It felt like such a gift. And it was also an opportunity for us to get together again!

For dinner I had made turkey pie, lima beans, salad, and for dessert, an apple pie, which he said was the best he had ever had! We had a lot of relaxed time during dinner to talk about where Bob had grown up, and a little about his family. He never knew he was adopted. The whole family was sworn to secrecy. But he appeared to feel secure and held a responsible job, so maybe that was best for him. He told us where he went to college, and what he did in his job. We also discovered that Bob and I both like Earl Grey tea and Caesar salad dressing!

After dinner I asked to have alone time with my son, and Tim agreed. It was so wonderful being alone with my son. He said he loved his mother very much, but he had a special feeling around me. I definitely felt that we had a connection, and my love for him was very strong. He hugged me and that felt so good. He asked me what he should call me, and I suggested Mom, as it was more casual. He also thought that we had the same personality! I said “ If that were true, it would be a great compliment to me!”

I gave him a choice of one of my hand woven wall hangings, and he chose a white and violet one, one of my favorites. He hung it up at home so it could be seen from 3 rooms! I also gave him a ceramic bird from my mother’s bird collection which he put in his window. We hugged to say good night.

Bob returned on Sunday and Tim agreed to let us have most of the time together. Bob said “Awesome!” We talked quite a bit. I showed him entries in my father’s diaries that referenced times I spent with his father. At that time, this was the only evidence I could show him of his father. I had shared with my life story with my son, so I gave him the final pages and we talked about it. It was truly wonderful to have alone time with my son. He has so many good qualities, and empathy and understanding are among them.

That evening we had salmon for dinner and for dessert we had chocolate chip cookies which I baked. Tim gave them to Bob to take with him. We all hugged goodbye, and as soon as he left I missed him so much! But I felt complete now, and the promise of future times spent together as a family gave me such hope.

Look for the next part of my life story……………

CHAPTER 4 - A New Year’s Day Christmas.

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